Don't Let the Days Go By
[Recent Entries][Archive][Friends][User Info]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Justin" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
|
06:18 pm
[Link] | I watched the South Park episode about the fishstick joke the other day. It was like the 3rd time I've seen it. This episode made me think. The part where Kyle says to Cartmen something to the effect of: I believe you. I believe you THINK you did this. Because people like you have such a large ego they can convince themselves of anything.
This is funny to me, because I have a friend (well, I guess we can call him a friend) that does very similar things. He is a liar. A bold faced liar. He makes things up clear out of the blue. Some times it's just pointless stories that he thinks make him look good. And a lot of the stories are so completely ridiculous that I can't believe I ever at one point thought he wasn't telling a lie. I now question EVERYTHING he says. And that's sad.
What I wonder about him, and about all people like this, is does he believe himself? Do these people get so into their lies that they think it's the truth? And if so, how long does it take for them to believe it? Is it an immediate thing? Do they say "I made a million dollars last year, and spent it all on booze and hookers in 3 nights," and right then and there believe it? Or do they have to perfect their story first before they believe it's happened? As in, eventually the story turns into "I made 95 thousand last year working at a restaurant, but I'm now broke because I spent a lot on alcohol and I don't work as much."
If they don't believe themselves, then why do they continue to lie? I mean, I get it...most of the stories, at least in my friends case, make him look good or at least offer a means for him to display his humor or to become the center of attention. After all, telling a story about beating up a cop but not getting arrested may make some people think he's crazy, but told in the right way can make him seem "funny." And of course, attention will always be focused on someone who claims that one of his senses now doesn't work because he's been hit so many times in that certain area.
I don't even have a way to make a guess as to which it is, whether they believe themselves or not. Thing is, I've caught this particular person in his lies numerous times. I don't call him out on it because, to his credit, he's a master at backing out of things. But all that means is that it's not like I'm accusing him of something that he's not doing. I'm 100 percent positive he is as much of a liar as I'm describing him as. (And yes, the examples I'm using are very similar to the stories this person says, minus the million dollar hooker and booze thing). And every time he comes up with another ridiculous story I just tune him out almost. I know eventually he will say something that will completely contradict that lie and annoy me again. It's frustrating not being able to understand what a person like that is thinking. I just want to get inside their head for one day. So what do you guys think? Do they believe it? Or just simply like to lie?
It's been a while since I've made any decent post on here. Life is going. School is getting close to being over for me. And while I'm extremely excited to actually start a career and and everything, I'm also pretty terrified. I fear that I won't have what it takes to be anything more than just a "worker bee" if you will. I doubt myself when it comes to ideas and anything of that nature. If I were to be put in a decision making position, I'd constantly fear making the wrong decision rather than trusting myself and my instincts. I fear that I'll be stuck at the job I have for the rest of my life. It's a fine job, for right now...but I couldn't handle working this type of job forever. Even if I were to take the Operations Manager job they've been offering me for a while now, that's basically just a glorified teller, and that's not what I want to do. But then again, I don't KNOW what I want to do. I've been told by a whole lot of people that I'm good at customer service, does that mean I should stick with that even if I don't like it?
School is going fairly well though. I've been slacking the first part of this semester, but it's nothing I can't recover from. I've found out that as long as I go to class, I generally do alright, even if I don't study too much. Man, I just wish I would have known that a long time ago. Stupid me.
Job is ok. I changed branches because they shut down almost all the branches inside of the grocery store. Now I'm working at a full service location. There's a lot to learn at it. They do quite a bit more than we did at my old branch. At first I wasn't liking it. I thought my boss hated me. Turns out, she's just a smart-ass. So it's getting better. I'm getting along with most, if not all, the people that work there. I still miss my old branch though. But working at the full service place will allow me to learn a lot more stuff and give me better experience. So I guess that's a good thing.
Oh, and Drew says Hi.
|
|
09:15 am
[Link] |
A short list...
...of things I've noticed (or been reminded of) since school has started for the semester.
It doesn't matter how atrocious looking the girl is, if she is wearing those white, see-through pants, guys will stare (including me, and teachers).
Never sit by the guy who bobs his legs up and down. It shakes your desk and makes an annoying noise the entire class.
The weeks of wondering if anybody would make a joke about the vacated final four visit by Memphis was answered in my second class of the semester.
The longer you've been single, the more likely you are to be that creepy guy that stares at all the cute girls. (I must watch myself on this one).
The text book industry has one of the most genius business models ever: Let's sell this book for 200 bucks, buy it back for 80, then sell it used for 180 bucks for about 5 years, 3 to 4 times a year, until we get a new edition where the author only changes one word and then start the whole process over again.
Accountants are boring.
Oh, and I still hate frat guys.
|
|
12:25 am
[Link] | People call me Jason a lot...
My name is not Jason.
|
|
11:10 pm
[Link] | So I had a conversation today with the girls I work with that really bothered me. It started with one of them saying “I hope if I am really sweet to my boyfriend he will give me money to go shopping.” I was a tad shocked at how forward she was about that. And we started talking about similar things. The two girls I was working with said that a boyfriend is SUPPOSED to just give his girlfriend money to shop or other things. I objected. I said something along the lines of “No, they shouldn’t. I’m not against buying something for my girlfriend for no reason. Or surprising her with something. But to flat out give her money to buy her own stuff seems weird to me.” They argued (and eventually said this must be why I’ve been single for a while) and claimed that this is just what a boyfriend does. I said that it’d be different if we were married (naturally, we’d be sharing the finances so it’d be different) or if we were even living together because at the very least we’d be sharing bills. I also said that if I were to do that, I’d feel like the only reason they were with me was for my money. They disagreed with me. Please, to you females out there, tell me I’m right here. Tell me I’m not supposed to just give money to my girlfriend. Things have been going good for me, I think. I’ve moved into a new apartment and it is extremely nice. It feels good to get out of the house I was living for a number of reasons. I’m sure we’ll be having people over soon for a little house warming party so those people from Memphis should stop by. Oh, and if anyone is looking to move out, I could rent out my closet for a nice fee…seriously, it’s bigger than most bedrooms. I’ve been wanting to write a very long post lately. Describing everything that’s been going through my head from nostalgic feelings to relationship to my future. That’s just going to have to wait for another day. Please though…just tell me I’m right about the whole giving a girlfriend money thing. I’m begging you.
|
|
07:20 pm
[Link] |
( Ramblings... )
|
|
12:05 am
[Link] |
Time for a life update...
( Woo Hoo! )
|
|
12:16 pm
[Link] |
Sorry to bitch....
But I've got to.
What a weekend! It’s probably been one of the worst I’ve ever had. I wake up Friday morning and I felt short of breath. I could feel my heart pounding. Thinking, maybe I just had a bad dream or something, I lay back down and tried to get back to sleep before I had to get up for work. Well, the entire time I was laying down I could still feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I get up, get ready for work, hoping that the pain would subside. I get to work and within 15 minutes I decide I can’t take it and leave to go the doctor. So I go to the Germantown Minor Med. They see I’m having chest pain so they take me right away. They do an EKG on me, and with hardly explaining anything they tell me that I need to go to the ER. The one good thing here is that the girl that told me this was smokin’ hot! But anyways, the way she put it kind of scared me. I didn’t think it was going to be serious at all. I rush to the emergency room, tell them what’s going on and they basically do the same thing. They take me and lay me down on a stretcher and do another EKG. In not serious situations, they sit you up and take you to a desk to get all your registration information. Well, she told me to get up and then looked at the results of the EKG. She quickly told me to lay back down, and rushed me back to the “major” emergency room. Before I knew it I was surrounded by about 6 or 7 doctors and nurses. They were poking me with needles, connecting to me to every machine they could fine, and just scaring the hell out of me. They told me that I have what they call atrial fibrulation (and I’m sure, I’m spelling that wrong). Basically what that means is an erratic and irregular heart beat. Normal heart rate is around 70 to 90 beats per minute. My heart rate was above 160. The people in the ER were incredibly nice. They all seem to have a general interest in my well being. The nurse that admitted me even came back to check on me. It was very comforting. They gave me medicine to slow my heart rate down which I could immediately tell the difference and felt better. But of course, I had to stay over night for precautionary reasons. So they moved me to my own room. The people up here are not NEARLY as nice as the ER. These people, with the exception of a few, act like I’m more of a burden than a patient. For example, last night my IV ran out. Keep in mind that I’m running on maybe 2 hours of sleep total (and also, I’m pretty positive I’m the only patient on this floor). So around 1 in the morning, just as I was drifting off to sleep, it runs out, and starts beeping. I hit the call nurse button. 5 minutes later they called over the intercom and asked what was wrong, I told them as politely as I could and they told me they would send the nurse. I was hearing the nurse outside my door laughing and talking with everyone, eventually my mom went out there and asked her to come in. She stormed in here acting mad that we interrupted her. I understand that she probably didn’t want to be here, I understand that I might not even be the only patient, but she IS here and I am at least one of her patients. That’s how it has been nearly all weekend. I was really hoping In was going to be getting out today, but the doctor came in and said no such luck. I had a bad reaction to some of the medicine they gave me so they need to find the right one. I know they are right, but this is probably the most frustrating thing. I just want to go home. Not to mention I have the new Star Wars game and I REALLY want to play it!
|
|
10:03 pm
[Link] |
random thoughts
So, the summer is ending. I’m somewhat looking forward to school starting. I’ve been doing well in school the last couple of semesters and I hope to continue that improvement. I just wish I could get done with school and actually get on with my life. I’m tired of being in school. I’m in a class this year, because I couldn’t find any other class for the time that I needed and I needed one more to become a full time student, that is “recommended” for freshman. I can’t tell how much I’m looking forward to that. I can’t tell you because I’d be lying. I’m going to be 22 and in a class with probably ALL freshman. That will suck. I just can’t wait to finish school, is basically what I’m trying to say. This summer was decent. It had its ups and downs. The ups were way up there, the downs were way down. The last couple of summers have just kind of been there, nothing special. Of course, this summer I got to experience New York, something I can’t wait to do again. Other than that though, there wasn’t many other highs. I feel like I’ve grown up a little this summer; find out who I am and who some of my true friends actually are. And I’ve realized, more so than anything, that I’m ready to grow up and move on from the “college” life style of seeing how drunk we can get without throwing up. I’m just done with. Especially after the most recent bad night, a night that I wish never would have happened. But it did happen. And all I can do is learn from it. And I did, I learned a lot from it. I love my job. I really do. Despite Kim. Other than her, my job is perfect. I feel like a different person at work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m myself. I’m not fake (except to annoying customers, but you’ve got to be). But I feel like people at work see me drastically differently then the people I’m around outside of work. People LIKE me at work. I don’t mean to say people don’t like me outside of work. But from my superiors, to coworkers, to customers, they REALLY like me. They see me as a young, smart, hardworking, someone who has their “head on his shoulders,” someone who is “going places in life.” (these are all quotes that people have told me before) When they ask how much longer I have in school, and I say that it will probably take me at least 5 and a half years, rather than dwell on the fact that I should have graduated right now, they say “Well, you work more than some people who aren’t even in school, so it’s ok that it takes you a little longer.” It’s a good feeling. It may sound cheesy, but it feels good to know that these people have that much confidence in me, when I don’t exactly have it in myself. It’s nice being able to go to work knowing that any negative reputation you may have is wiped away. I like that. Maybe that’s what I need. A fresh start somewhere. Not so much a need, but I definitely would like a fresh start. That might be the first thing I do when I graduate. Move somewhere that I’m not known and can just start completely over. Unfortunately, I’d probably be too terrified to do that. We’ll see though. I have over a year to decide that I think. That’s about all, I guess. Hope you like randomness. Hopefully this new semester will bring some new and good things my way.
|
|
09:02 pm
[Link] |
|
|
07:16 pm
[Link] |
Dear 17 year old Justin,
You're about to be a senior. Enjoy it as much as possible. You will make some of your best friends that year. But study, develop good habits, and don't slack off like you've been known to do. It will help you in the long run.
Don't date the girl that you think you want to. But since I know you still will, take a step back and realize what a bitch she actually is to you. End the "relationship" as soon as you can. Learn from the experience though, you will take a lot from it, including some of your best friends for years to come.
Realize how great you have it at the moment. Try to get along with your mom better. We both know it can be difficult, but I promise it makes things better.
You're going to go through a very very hard and serious family issue. It's going to come close to ripping you're entire family apart, and nothing will ever be the same. But you will learn from it in the long run that even the people you look up to can make mistakes. It will be in the back of your mind for years to come. Branch away from your comfort zone a little when you get to college. Don’t worry while you do, your true friends will always be there for you. While playing Ultimate Frisbee, when Sam Ward throws you a pass that is out of your reach, just let it fall. Do not, I repeat, do not jump for it. You’ll be faced with many tragic events, family and personal health issues. Stay strong, it will be tough, but your friends and family will need you to. When you decide to come back to Memphis rather than stay at UT, don’t think that means you do not have to try the rest of the semester. This is important. When you get back to Memphis, study, go to class, and get good grades. Get off to a good start there and things will be much easier down the road. You’re going to meet a girl that you’re going to fall for immediately. Unfortunately it will be under the worst circumstances possible. Take a long look at the situation before getting involved. Slow things down and try not to get too attached to her because she sure as hell won’t be too attached to you. I would say avoid the relationship all together, but it’s hard when the time you spent with her will be some of the best times you’ll have. Don’t stop working out. You will get in somewhat decent shape your freshman year. But once you move back to Memphis, you’ll give up. You will feel a lot better about yourself if you stick with it.
|
|
03:21 pm
[Link] |
My mistake...
Today I went to get my weekly allergy shot. It was 11:00 in the morning on this thursday in mid-may, high school is still going. I see this girl. (you probably can already guess where this is going) She's dressed in very nice clothes, business attire almost. I get a look at her and i think to myself "wow this girl is cute." I get a better look at her, and sure enough...shes very attractive. We make eye contact by accident, so i see she noticed me as well. I sign my name to get my shot, sit down and i decide to do something that i NEVER do: talk to her. I'm usually too shy, and stuff, but this time, i just have to. this girl was very pretty. I say something to her, she starts talking back, we talk for a few seconds then i make her laugh and when she smiles i see she has a mouth full of braces. my initial reaction was hoping that maybe she just didnt get braces til later in life, so i continue the conversation. she says how she got her allergy shot and is waiting the 20 minutes, i say how i never wait, because i dont have the patience. she then says "yeah, i dont want to, but if i dont, they will call my mom then i'll get in trouble."
she was probably 16.
thats not cool....girls shouuld wear a sign that says how old they are. I've made this mistake way too many times.
|
|
08:59 pm
[Link] |
|
|
11:47 pm
[Link] |
I just don't know anymore
|
|
10:35 pm
[Link] | Memphis is going to the final four! that is awesome. what is it about that feeling when the team youre rooting for wins? its amazing. it makes me think of how i felt when the cards won it all...i love that feeling. I will never undrstand drugs. anything about it, including the people who do them. if anyone can tell me why the reward is worth the risk i would love to hear it. ive always known people who did them, but they have never been people i claim as GOOD friends. now when i know someone who might be doing some bad things, it hits a little harder and makes me just wonder why the hell anyone would do them. i hate that.
have you ever annoyed yourself? cuz ive been doing that lately. ill say or do something, and wonder "what the fuck was that? someone should just hit me in the face for saying that." only i really dont want to be hit in the face, that hurts. but really i need to stop doing that. ill just go back to being shy justin and stop putting my two cents in conversations.
So i love my job. a lot. but i hate my coworker. we will call her kim, because thats her name. shes a bitch. i could go on and on about everything that i hate about her but im just going to tell one story that my give a glimpse of the kind of human being she is: I am forced to wear long sleeve and button up shirt, with a tie at work. the weather has been getting warmer, which has made wearing that kind of attire a pain, because i sweat somewhat easily. but when i get to work, she has the heat on 80 effin degrees. that is way too hot. i constantly go turn on the AC, turn it off completely, or at the very least, leave the heat on but put it a reasonable 72ish degrees. as soon as i do that, she flips right back to 80 degrees. so i finally try to reason with her. i say "kim, i get hot very easily and i sweat a lot and its very uncomfortable. im forced to wear longsleeves at all times, i dont have the option of wearing short sleaves or shirts that aren't tight on my neck, would you mind maybe from now on dressing a little warmer or bringing a jacket to work?" thats very reasonable, wouldnt you say? afterall, business attire for women has a lot more options than for men. what does she say to me "no JUSTIN! then id have to wear the jacket in the car and i hate that." that is quite possibly the dumbest response to reason you can get. i say something like "well, you dont have to. why dont you do what tonia (my boss) does, and just bring a small jacket or sweater and leave it here just in case you get cold." she tells me no again and how that is not fair...i try to reason a little more with her...this makes her stick her fingers in her ear and shout "LA LA LA LA LA." this is a 26 year old married woman who has two children. and she did that to me. i looked at her and say "how old are we now?" and leave the conversation at that. kim is a selfish, childish, greedy bitch. not just because of this instance. maybe one day ill need to vent some more about how awful she is as a person, although no one will care...it might make me feel better.
i guess thats it for now.
|
|
09:56 pm
[Link] | So congrats to UT. they beat us...good for them.
I broke my phone that night. And I didn't even throw it down in a fit of rage, it just broke. It sucks not having a phone. But its lead me to tell you this story and allowing me to make a point about how this world sucks:
So I go into a Sprint store on sunday to get my phone replaced. This isnt the first time this has happened, actually second or third, so i thought "no problem," right? I go in, say i broke my phone, i have insurance, i need to know what i need to do to get a new one. the girl says "oh we dont do that here." obviously the girl has misunderstood me, right? I mean they sold phones there, I use their service, they have to be able to replace my phone at this store. so i question her, explain my situation again. but nope, sure enough, they dont handle insurance at stores now. apparently a new policy. i storm out the store (probably shouldnt have done that) and head home. i look up other numbers to sprint stores around here and use a friends phone to call. I got more or less of the same thing from the three people i talk to. the only way to get a new phone is to spend the hundreds of dollars and disregard my insurance. not planning on doing that. i even ask why they changed this policy to where i couldnt get my phone at a store and was told "to deter customers from the store." well, why the hell are the stores there if it isnt to help serve YOUR customers! So my only option was to call and make my insurance claim to sprints customer service (and at this point im thinking customer SERVICE is an extreme exaggeration). They have to send me a new phone. which, they also told me that it would be here today, but it was not! (liars) so i dont have a phone (and on a sidenote, its driving me crazy...i was more dependent on my phone than i thought...something im somewhat ashamed of).
so heres the thing...i cant be the only one this has inconvenienced. not being able to get a new phone right then and there. there are people out there that are even more dependent on their phone than i am. but sprint doesnt care that they inconvenienced these people, not to mention that their insurance policy still calls for you to spend an extra 50 dollars. and after over 2 years, of nearly 10 dollars a month for insurance...that damn phone now cost me 290 bucks basically. but to, sprint who cares?
SO whats my point? well, my biggest problem with this situation is that i can't do ANYTHING! Sure i can complain. tell them how inconvenient this is for me. tell them how their customer service is awful. but what is it going to do? not a damn thing! i could threaten to discontinue my plan. why should that matter to them though? they have probably millions of people using their services. making BILLIONS of dollars. and its not just sprint. its EVERYTHING. i work at first tennessee bank, and its the same way there. my boss and i even joke some times when a customer leaves in rage threatening to close their account saying to eachother (not the customer of course) "we dont care, First TN is not going to miss your 100 dollars that you have in the bank." and its true. i feel absolutely helpless about this and all of these types of situations. These companies preach about customer service being top priority, all cell phone companies do, and its supposedly one of the first things at all banks as well...but they dont give a damn. at my level, yaeh...i give a damn about my customers. the rude ones no. but i do. but upper level, who cares? as long as those execs at sprint make their millions, which i can assure you they do, why the hell should they care if they inconvenience a small portion of customers.
i just wonder if this is how its always been. or was there ever a time when business ethics were actually real. where business actually did value customers and customer service over whats more cost efficient.
but i will never know. because there is absolutely nothing i can do about any of it.
|
|
06:20 pm
[Link] | At a basketball game, it’s funny when you sit around a person who doesn’t understand the phrase “and-1” (just in case…its a phrase used when a player shoots and scores a basket, and also gets fouled so he gets an extra shot). The entire game, at any random point in the game, maybe when someone would score a basket at a heated moment in the game he would yell “AND 1!!!!!!” Why are all the kids on the kraft macaroni commercials black? I like that stuff too…. Have you ever noticed that on the first day of classes, there is always ONE guy, usually a stoner, some guy that tries to be cool, laid back, type of guy, who walks into class and goes “this is [state name of whatever class it is] right?” what he should do, is take a look at the schedule that he is holding in his hand, see if he’s in the correct room at the designated time, if so he’s in the right room. What I like to do is tell them “no it’s not.” And then when he points it out on the schedule I say “then why did you ask, dumbass.” A similar scenario happened on my first day of classes, and I still don’t understand this. While in my financial management class, someone walked in a little late, as she walked in the teacher asks “financial management?” the girl, as she sits down, says “yes.” Which, to the average person may sound like just a “yes” but what it is actually implying is: “I am, in fact, in this financial management class, thank you for making sure I have entered the correct classroom of higher education.” Well, about thirty seconds later, as the girl gets up and starts to walk out of class she says: “I thought this was finance.” The teacher says “it is.” She responds, “no, I thought you were teaching financial management.” And then walks out. This was three weeks ago and it’s still bugging the hell out of me as to what she meant by that. True story. On a More serious note…I don’t think I’ve felt this good about myself in a long time. Things are going good for me. I still hate school, with a strong passion. And the light at the end of that tunnel still seems like a tiny dot, but I’m at least finally making progress. My job couldn’t be better and that is very exciting to me. I’ve been trying to get rid of negative things in my life, things I don’t want to be around, which inevitably includes people. I’m tired allowing people to walk all over me. And I’m doing my best to put a stop to it. I’m happy right now. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. More confident than I’ve been…well…probably ever. Naturally things can always improve. And they are going to. Things are looking up and they will continue to go up. I’m determined to make them. I guess that’s it. Two posts in one day. Heck yeah for me!
|
12:02 pm
[Link] |
I guess i'll play
Most of these are people that are probably not even on LJ, which means most of you won't know them. oh well....
1. You're a liar and you always try to one-up everyone. People dont think youre as funny and impressive as you think they do. Youre also not as smart as you think you are.
2. You are very condescending to me, but you are extremely dumb. you try to give me advice, but you are probably the last person i would want it from.
3. You are very smart. And i'm pretty positive you think I'm dumb. however, i could care less. you have absolutely no people skills.
4. I don't think we are as good of friends as you say we are. In fact, i feel awkward around you, and always have.
5. I'm really glad we are friends again. We understand eachother, I think.
6. I look up to you, and for some reason I feel pathetic for that
7. I disagree with almost every decision you make. I wish youd be more responsible and stop being so immature and stop treating life as if the sole mission is to get fucked up and have sex.
8. You're immature and if youd ever grow up i'd possibly want to try dating you....(again?)
9. I think we're perfect for eachother, but would never date you... not any time soon at least.
10. You're a little naive. But its kind of cute.
11. Youd go far in life if you could work on your social skills....very far.
12. I some times wonder if you are going to do anything at all with your life, because it doesnt seem like it.
13. I dont think i'll ever understand why you dont like me.
14. You're gorgeous, I want to take you out to dinner.
15. I wish I would have asked you out before my opportunity was over, would you have said yes?
|
|
12:27 am
[Link] |
Rambling
I've been overly obsessed with music lately. more so than I have ever been. Which is saying something because i've always been pretty into music. but lately...music has just been amazing for me. I've learned to appreciate so much more now. I will admit, I used to silently judge certain people (not everyone) for saying their favorite bands are Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Doors, etc. Not because i thought it was bad for liking them, but because certain people, to me, i felt were naming those bands as their favorite just to come off as the music connoisseur. I always secretly thought that those were the people that would where the Jim Morrison t-shirts, but when alone, would pop in their del amitri cd and rock out to some "roll to me." (although there is nothing wrong with that, cuz that is a fantastical song/band) and whenever asked if i liked those classic rock bands, i always said yes, but would also say "but i dont listen to much of their stuff." because after all, as i am now embarrassed to admit, I used to be the person that would associate The Who with the episode of Full House where Danny Tanner wanted to sing "My Generation" for DJ's school fundraiser. I used to be the guy who when Zeppelin came up would barely know "stairway to heaven" but later learned "dazed and confused" only because of the movie. and the beatles, well i would always associate them with the movie "i am sam." And of course, i probably would have also thought Jethro Tull was one guy, not a band. I could go on with a lot of other bands, but ill stop there. but what ive learned over the last, ohhhh 7 months or so, is that i was missing out BIG time. There is so much amazing music out there, its incredible. I still have my weak moments and guilty pleasures such as Sister Hazel or Matchbox Twenty (im not embarrassed about the old school mb20, but all their most recent stuff, im afraid to admit i do like sometimes). And I will say that early to mid 90s rock will always be my favorite era in music. to me, nothing can ever top Counting Crows, Bush, Collective Soul, Live and so much more from that time period. But i can at least proudly say now that i do know what those true fans of classic rock were trying to say to me way back when. if you havent listened to those bands(along with many many many more), which i think everyone that reads this definitely has, then i suggest you go and listen to the music that is still inspiring musicians today. it is absolutely incredible stuff.
on another note...and to be totally random after my long spiel about my journey with music. I would like to tell you about my latest big fear. You see, i have three pairs of shoes i wear. one pair of black dress shoes i wear to work. one of casual brown shoes. and one pair of slightly dress brown shoes, that i can wear to work, or just in case i want to party a little more sophisticated or something. all these shoes are slip ons and all three pair always lay in the middle of my floor. so in the morning, after i already leave, usualy while im driving to work or where ever it is i go, i get a sicking feeling in my stomach that i unknowingly slipped into two different shoes because i hardly ever pay that much attention when im putting on my shoes. so when i get to a stop light, i put my car in park and make sure i have two of the same shoes on. this happens at least 4 times a week.
I'm glad to see 07 end. i need to leave a lot of stuff in this year behind. Anyone have any good resolutions?
oh yeah, and attention single, smart, cute, non-slutty girls: where are you hiding? i cant seem to find you ANYWHERE.
Here's to a good new year, starting over, and just making the best of every possible scenario!
|
|
11:48 pm
[Link] | So much to say, or want to say, and so litle people care. where should i start? how about with a few things that have been bugging me?
first off, i cant for the life me understand this one: Say there are these two people, in a relationship. maybe they like eachother a lot, i dont know. but one, or both just know deep down that its not working out between them. maybe they've fallen out of love or something. why, then, do you stay together? more to the point...why stay with someone you don't like or you know that the relationship is going no where? do people really have the mindset that they would rather be with someone they dont want to be with rather than be alone for a little while? i dont understand it.
Secondly, Liars. Now, everyone has told fibs before. thats one thing. even large exaggerations is another thing...i am probably guilty of that (although i can't think of a specific instance, im really just putting that in here to cover my ass in case someone pulls something out on me). im talking abuot people who just flat out make shit up. double-u tee eff? where do people actually come up with some of these lies? i hope im not the only one who knows a person like this. usually, its the guy that always has a story to beat yours. for instance: i tell a story of winning 100 dollars at a casino (which never happend, this is an example so stop calling me a hypocrite bitches!) then he tells a story how he won a million, then got shot buy a guy and it was all stolen from him and thats why he doesnt actually have it anymore. now maybe thats a tad bit of an exageration again...but im sure youre picking up what im putting down. i just dont get it. why do people lie? do they think people are actually believing all those stories? and are they really trying that hard to impress people that they flat out make up random shit like that?
so many things get to me now-a-days. it seems like this time last year i had this huge group of friends that i loved spending time with. there was even a smaller group within that large group of people i thought i was just getting extremely close with. now, it seems like i just see right through all of them, or most of them. whether it be the liar (as mentioned above) or the condescending people that think everything you do is lame, its just not the same. its like i dont share anything in common with most of them anymore. i went from having that large group of friends, to only really trusting a couple. im just in a rut. i need to climb back out of it. just wish i knew where to start.
|
|
11:08 pm
[Link] | So, for those of you who don't know, or those of you who do, i had a liver biopsy today. This being my first biopsy i didn't really know what to expect. while it may have not been the worst experience of my life, it was definitely far from the best.
It started by getting there at 9 in the morning, after about an hour and a half of waiting, the call me back to do blood work. after that, they kept the needle in me, and wrapped it to my arm, i guess just in case they needed to give me medicine later. well, for those of you who ahve never had an iv before, some times they can stick the needle in a bit too far where it hurst whenever you move your arm a tad bit, that was the case today. i was sitting in the waiting room for another hour and a half while with my arm going numb because i couldnt move it without it hurting.
I was finally called back for the actual procedure. the procedure was only about 20 or 30 minutes, so it wasnt too long, and they needed me awake thorughout the entire time because they had to send me through a ct scan over and over again to make sure the needle is going in the right spot. and apparently the right spot is just below my chest. they sent me in the ct scan and got a picture, they took me out then started numbing the area, then stuck a needle through me into my liver, while i was watching...that was kind of...uhh...we'll go with "cool." the needle was sticking up a good few inches out of my chest. so they then sent me back in the ct scan and took a picture of where the needle was, they pulled me out and i looked over at the picture and i could see where the needle went in me and punctured my liver. then they adjusted the needle to get it where they wanted (they did this a couple times.)
When they had it where they thought they wanted it, as they were sending me back in the ct scan they told me "now don't breath too hard or you'll dislodge the needle." so that scared the shit out of me. all i could think was "well i dont want an effin needle dislodged in me, i dont think thats a good thing." so for the remaining 15 minutes im breathign as little as possible, hoping to avoid a needle being dislodged in my liver.
So, then the doctor brought out this instrument, which kind of looked like one of those lighters you use to light a grill with. he tells me that this is the thing thats going to actually break off a piece of my liver and he demonstrated how it was going to sound. it sounded like taking a thick branch and snapping it in half. they then stuck that on the needle and did that 3 times. i didnt feel the first one too bad, the second too werent as pleasant. after he got the three samples he sent me back in the ct scan and saw that i was bleeding a little too much so he put some sort of patch through the needle that was already in me.
after that all i had to do was wait in a recovery room for over 3 hours to make sure i dont start bleeding too bad. i left around 4:30...
and that was my day.
|
[<< Previous 20 entries] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
hurlman86's journal